What to do with an Anxious Mind: My Personal Experience and Five Go-To Strategies for Anxiety
It’s been a month since I returned to NY and moved back in with my parents, no job, no plan…. Just a lot of time and space to relax, reflect, and integrate some of the things I have done in the last few years.
And like anything, there are ups and downs. There are challenges, and there are opportunities. Being at home has been like that, both challenging and opportunistic. Not anything life altering, but definitely confronting insights, thoughts, and realities.
The first few weeks, I had a burst of energy coupled with enthusiasm to do home projects. I started a garden and sprouting kit, unpacked and cleaned out old things, rearranged furniture in my bedroom, and had other ideas percolating.
But, there came a time in those few weeks that I started to feel bitter. I started to feel anxious. I started to feel overwhelmed. I started to resist doing projects or working in my garden. It was like all of a sudden I didn’t care, or didn’t have the energy for it. It was as if this high vibe, productive and creative wave was gone.
And then I remembered how energy works. I remembered that there is a period for work and a period for rest. I didn’t realize the move from Hawaii back home would be such an energetically laborious process until I hit my wall. And as excited and ready I was to move off of Hawaii, I was energetically zapped.
These last few days I have been in “a mood.” A sense of bitterness, a sense of overwhelm, and sense of anxiousness, which at this point is now on the mend. But, when I was feeling those feelings I asked myself why? What is it that I need? Why am I feeling this way? What can I do to help?
For one thing, I am tired. And When I am overtired, I start to turn inward. I start to judge myself or beat myself up for being tired.... not realizing everything I just did. So, knowing this I decided to turn down the dial a bit and give myself permission to rest.
Another thing I realized is that not working, not having structure, or contributing can make me feel "useless." I miss being a part of a group or a team, and I miss earning a pay check. But, can I be OK with taking a break? Can I trust and know that this is temporary and that I am safe and secure right now?
I know this is a fear I have about not being important, valued, seen, or belonging to a group. It is a fear I have that I will run out of money or that I am wasting my potential, or that I am a failure. And while all of these fears are valid, they are not true. They are the mental stories that I have learned or attached to that do not serve me. They are fear based beliefs that keep me from trusting, believing, being present, and enjoying the space.
Without work there is more time…. And more time can be a beautiful thing, but it can also be destructive. Having time to relax, draw, cook, talk with friends, go for a walk, read, meditate is awesome. It is therapeutic. It is peaceful. It is liberating. But, with extra time the mind has more space to wonder. And when the mind is not carefully guided and nurtured, it can go down the dark roads of anxiety, depression, self destruction and isolation.
Thankfully, I have experience in guiding my mind out of those spirals time and time again, as I have had several transitional periods and gaps in my life. So, I have found tools to help me in these times of overwhelm. Here are a few of my go-to energy tools I have been turning to:
Journaling. I have been doing morning pages every morning for the last few weeks, which is three pages of a hand written brain dump first thing in the morning to get my thoughts out on paper and set the tone for my day. This helps me assess my energy level and any worries or excitements I have for things going on. It is a practice from The Artist's Way, a creative workbook by Julia Cameron.
Perspective shift. A good friend of mine reminded me of the “zoom out” perspective. It helps me step back from me worry or fear and see the bigger picture. Often times this puts things into perspective, and I realize my problem isn’t really a big deal. A visual I like to use is to imagine myself standing outside in nature and slowly zoom out to see more and more around me until I am looking at the world from above. This process works well to help me see beyond my problem and appreciate the magnitude of the world compared to my tiny worry.
Boxed breathing. Breath work of any form has been a key component for shifting my mind, mood, and energy. A boxed breathing pattern of 5 counts has been something gentle and easy I can do anytime, anywhere that has helped regulate my nervous system when dealing with stress. Simply, breathe in for a count of 5 seconds, hold breath in for 5, breathe out of 5, and hold breath at the end for 5 seconds. Repeat that sequence for 8-10 minutes for therapeutic benefits. If you are interested in learning more about breathing techniques, you can read more here.
Dancing and movement. Movement of any form will always be a non-negotiable for me. It is a must do, everyday. Not only for the physical and physiological benefits of exercise but the energetic shifts it offers. Lately, I have been dancing and shaking “it” off. No matter what it is, dancing and moving your body can help you feel less anxious about something, and more optimistic about it.
Gratitude. When I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed, questioning my direction in life, I took a step back and looked around me. How blessed I am. How grateful I am to have what I have. Even if its not “everything” I want, I make a gratitude list to appreciate the world around me. And sometimes this practice helps me realize what it is a truly want. Do I want more money? Or do I want to freedom and opportunities. Do I want more fame? Or do I want the recognition and sense of purpose. Taking this approach will help you appreciate what you have, and even the things you don’t.
In addition to my self-care tools, I have the support system of my family and friends here in NY… who I can trust during these transitional periods in my life. Something I felt was missing in Hawaii was this network of people. Not that I didn’t make great friends and meet cool people there, I just know my family has been there for me my entire life through it all…. that’s some longevity. So having close connections and support when I am feeling lost is also helpful.
Overall my time at home has been great. It has been exactly what I needed... the rush of doubts and uncertainty along with moments of clarity and peace. Needlessto say, these last few weeks have been nothing short of pure exhaustion and excitement.
So, while June was a month of transition, let July be a month of presence. Presence with self, presence with nature, and presence with others.
Until next time, keep going.
Molly
Xoxo
