Discovering What Matters Most: A way to Clarify Your Values

I have been traveling around Europe for a few weeks now and attending different events and experiences that have all given me clarity and perspective. And even though each experience has its unique lesson, they keep bringing me back to the same question—what matters most to me?

This question urges me to look past my basic needs of safety, security, and connection to deeper desires and my core values. What do I value most in life—and at this particular stage of the process I am in? My answer to this question continues to come back to one thing and that is experience.

Now, the word experience is a broad term to describe a circumstance or situation in which we are an active participant or passive observer. An experience generally offers us new insights, information, and lessons from what we encounter. Experiences can teach us about ourselves and our energy. They can show us if our energy is in the correct place or not. Experiences are what develop perspective so that we can learn from life and evolve into a better, more authentic version of ourselves.

The phenomenon called the Law of Attraction is the matching of energy between a person and an experience. You attract the frequency that you emit. All types of experiences, relationships, opportunities, and situations can be explained by an energy exchange. If you are filled with ungrounded energy and emitting an unregulated frequency, the experience or situation you attract will match that energy. Similarly, if you are filled with calm energy and radiating a stable frequency, you will attract a situation with similar energy.

I bring this up to share my experiences with the law of attraction and some of my observations about this process while traveling. As I mentioned, I value my life experiences. And because the quality of my experiences is important to me, I try to emit a frequency to the world that connects me with wholesome and nurturing experiences. So to attract those kinds of situations in my life, I need to clear out unwanted energy and focus on being open-minded and flexible.

If you have done any solo traveling in a foreign country, you know there are a lot of logistics to figure out and many unknowns. And to be honest, when I first started my trip, I was worried these would overwhelm me. I wasn’t sure how I would manage the language barriers, currency differences, and public transportation in a new country. I was worried I would get exhausted and stressed out and not enjoy traveling. But, I also recognized these fears are normal and, I have to accept them instead of projecting them. So, instead of seeing these unknowns as stressful, I shifted my energy to view them as exciting, as adventurous…. and as a new experience.

Since starting my trip, I decided to experiment with The Law of Attaction. I decided to connect with the energy of excitement, openness, and curiosity…. and allow whatever happens to happen. I promised to stay stable and neutral in situations while being strategic and mindful of my energy and my time. Up until today, I have been surprised by all the amazing experiences and people I have “attracted.” When I was on the retreat in Iceland with Mike Posner, I had attracted new friends and a life-changing week in a magical place. When I traveled to Mallorca, I met friends and like-minded people at the yoga festival. I have been on such a “high” vibe from these last few weeks of traveling that today I was put to the test.

I booked a one-way flight to Albania for $90 a few days ago. The night before my flight out, I had a scheduled evening flight from Mallorca to Valencia. However, that flight was delayed over an hour so I didn’t arrive until after midnight. I finally got into my bed around 1 a.m. to sleep for a few hours before going back to the airport in the morning for my scheduled flight. I set my alarm and planned to arrive at the airport two hours before departure.

In the morning, I woke up, packed, and called for my Uber. On the way to the airport, my Uber driver informed me that we needed to take a detour because the airport was doing construction. This was a surprise to me and inside I started to panic. Was I going to have enough time to check in? What happens if I miss my flight? Will I have to pay for another ticket and wait who knows how long to get to my destination?

I felt myself getting frustrated with my Uber driver, and myself. “I should have left earlier.” “I should have thought about traffic and construction.” I felt the fear and frustration growing in my chest, but there was nothing I could do to change the situation.

But at that moment, I realized I had a choice. I could put out this negative energy and bitterness. Or, I could forgive myself, release my tension, and say yes to this adventure. So I decided to focus on being proactive and shift my energy. I thought I could arrive to check in and see if I could be let in first. I could ask if they have an express line. I could see if there are other flights…. Maybe my flight will be delayed, maybe I won’t be the only one. I kept my focus on knowing there are many possibilities and that whatever happens will work out.

Finally, after an extended ride to the airport, I ran into the departure terminal. My heart sank as I saw the check-in line backed up almost to the entrance door. So, before jumping to conclusions, I walked up to the other passengers and asked what time their flight was. Everyone in the line waiting was on the same flight as me. It turned out that the airline was running behind so no one was at the gate yet. To my relief, I wasn’t alone. This resolved my initial concern for catching my first flight, but now I wondered if I would make my connecting flight. I had a 45-minute lay over in Belgrade, which normally would be enough time to get to the next gate. However, with the delay I had no idea what might happen.

I stood in line with other travelers awaiting information for our flight’s take-off and arrival time. Over the next thirty minutes, the airline opened the check-in desk and pushed us through security and customs as quickly as possible. By the time I made it through the gate and onto the plane, we were only delayed 15 minutes. The captain announced that the flight would make up some time for an on-time arrival to Belgrade. Despite the chaos and confusion, everything was slowly coming together.

I truly do believe that the calm and open energy I connected to in this stressful situation allowed things to flow more smoothly for me. Not only in this particular situation but for the rest of my day and beyond. And that’s what I am finding works with the Law of Attraction. It is an evolution of energy. It’s a constant flow and momentum that you get to stay with as long as you are mindful and aware.

This isn’t to say when things come crashing down that you “manifested” it or that you’re on the wrong path. Sometimes, things come crashing down because the energy moved too quickly and the rest of the pieces need to catch up. Sometimes, things go wrong because it’s teaching you to slow down or to be patient.

No matter what happens, it’s the experience that will reflect to you the quality of your energy. It can occur to us at the moment or even several days later when we arrive at clarity as to why things may happen.

For me, traveling is teaching me to surrender to the unknown with an open and curious mind. It’s teaching me that the quality of my experiences is equal to the quality of the energy I connect to and emit out to the world. Regardless of the situations I come across, I know that everything will continue to work out for me.

So, I share this as an opportunity for you to ask yourself some clarifying questions—what matters most to you? What do you value at this stage in your life? And what qualities are you connecting to for your life experiences?

These deep questions can be explored through journaling, discussions with a loved one, or silent contemplation with yourself.

For many of us, myself included, we ignore these questions. Or we don’t answer them honestly. Not on purpose. But because we are conditioned. We are influenced by the world around us, our parents, friends, partners, and society on what is important. We take in other people’s values and live by them. Then, we think we know what we want so we go after it. But, when we have it, we realize we are unhappy, unfulfilled, and now stuck.

It becomes a toxic and dark place when you are at that point…. When you feel stuck in the rat race and limited by your circumstances.

But, there is a way to come back to who you are. There is a way to be happy with your day-to-day. There is a way to feel at peace with goodbyes and endings. There is a way to live life with more confidence and ease with whatever comes your way.

So if you are ready to emerge from the darkness and into a more aligned life, try honestly answering these questions.

And if you still feel the resistance, still feel unsure and overwhelmed with taking the next step, I am here for you.

I am here to help you get out of your rut and back on your feet.

I am here to help you rediscover your fire and passion and find more meaning and inspiration in life.

I have re-opening my calendar for strategic life coaching sessions. To sign up, please select a time for a brief 15-minute call to chat so we can see if a strategic coaching session is correct for you. If we both agree a session will help, we will arrange for a session to dive deeper into the problems or contemplations you are facing.

To learn more about this offering, please visit here.

And as always, the invitation is there for you to share your thoughts below. Thank you